They gave gifts, the wise men made their predictions and Nero sang some early version of Three Coins in a Fountain. In 63 CE Tiridates of Armenia came to Rome with his entourage of Magi (Wise Men) to end a drawn-out war and do homage to Emperor Nero, that great bisexual showman of Roman history. Not just statues, either, but real-life slave youths and hermaphrodites would be given. They gave statuettes of beautiful youths and ‘hermaphrodites’, phallic cakes, books of filthy epigrams, cosmetics and hair extensions for either sex. Origin of Christmas presentsĮveryone loves presents, and so did the Romans during the Saturnalia. Role reversal isn’t just for Saturnalia: Elagabalus said he was “delighted to be called the mistress, the wife, the Queen of Hierocles,” which was his lover who was a charioteer. The holiday is rumoured to have featured “lads running naked about the place, cross-dressing for dinner, tops becoming bottoms, masters waiting on their servants … sausages, wine, cunnilingus and fruitcake.” Some ways in which Saturnalia participants celebrated were, shall we say, less than traditional. Others might wake from a drunken debauch to find a pet tiger sniffing their crotch. One group of banqueting guests were literally suffocated by the weight of violets that were dropped through a false ceiling. (He basically shimmied his way to power.)īut some Saturnalian practical jokes could go too far. His dancing during the midwinter festival wowed the Roman legions so much they declared him emperor. The beautiful young Elagabalus loved a good party. He was popularised around 220AD by the great, selfish, cross-dressing, transgendered Emperor, Elagabalus. This was the day the Sun was reborn and so was sacred to the deity Sol Invictus, the Unconquerable Sun.
This was still a particularly holy day for the Romans. Official rituals were observed, sacrifices were made, and the statue of Saturn - whose feet were normally bound with wool - was unbound to symbolise liberation. (I don’t know, sounds kind of fun to us.) 25th December Lucian of Samosata listed “ drinking and being drunk, noise and games and dice … singing naked ” as common Saturnalia activities. Things got so out of control that the author Pliny “ reportedly built a soundproof room so that he could work during the raucous celebrations. Poets wrote of Saturnalia at the time that it was “ the best of days ” and a time “ when the whole mob has let itself go in pleasures. Strict dress codes were loosened, with participants exchanging their togas for more colourful clothing, and even gambling was allowed. Other customs included schools being closed, business was halted, and the courts being out of session. Customs like decorating our homes with wreaths, singing, feasting, and gift-giving all originated during this holiday. Many of our present-day Christmas traditions can be traced back to Saturnalia. There’s less solid historical information about lesbians and trans men, sadly, but of course, they would have been there too. (Because if you’re going to do Gay Christmas, you’re going to do it right.) Though Saturnalia initially started as a one-day affair, it quickly grew into a three-day - and then a week-long - festivity.
Saturnalia was an ancient Roman festival held in mid-December to honour Saturn, the god of sowing, plenty, and agriculture. Follow me in merry measure as I tell you about what is about to become your new favourite holiday, Saturnalia.